


Spiralling

by phfatbeatrice



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Bulimia, Depression, Gen, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-23 08:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phfatbeatrice/pseuds/phfatbeatrice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlotte was just a normal preteen, living life... Until her mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. She soon feel to depression and Bulimia. She quit school, for a short time held a small job, then was too sick even to do that. Everything for her mother. Until one day when a small creature greeted her with a wish...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm putting a Bulimia trigger notice here. This can be very triggering. Please don't read if you don't think you can handle it.

Coughing and hacking was all that could be heard in the confined area. This surrounding area was an apartment, no bigger then bedrooms. All of the rooms were clean and well kept, despite the heavy atmosphere of the small space. Within the restroom of this tightly packed apartment was a small framed little girl. The young girl sat of the floor, her pink coloured hair draping her face, which was leaning over the toilet. The girl had one arm hanging limp to her side, while the other one was holding tightly to the toilet seat. Her breathing was elevated as she studied her regrets in the toilet.

This young girl's name was Charlotte. She wasn't much older then 12 or 13, despite her extremely petite stature. Physically, she favoured ten-year-old features, at oldest. She always took shame in how small she looked. She often wore larger clothing to conceal her deceitfully small body, though she never found anything to assist her about her stature.

Charlotte look at the contents of the toilet again. There were many different colours mixed together, creating a mess of half chewed and digested sweets in the toilet. She hate the thought of what she had just done. She had purged again after another massive sweet binge.

She had nothing against sweets and she wasn't struggling with her weight; she didn't do it for herself. She would always struggle with thoughts and emotions of her mother's current position and then start eating all of the sweets and cakes that she could get her hands on-trying to fill a void that wasn't even created yet. After bingeing on sweets, she would regret the massive mounts of pastries she had eaten and force it out of her system.

Charlotte's mother had been hospitalised yet again, this time she had been told that she was never going to be healthy enough to go home. She had been diagnosed with cancer more then a year before; that was when Charlotte's dangerous eating habits developed and spun out of control. Charlotte's mother simply adored cheese and sweets. She could eat cakes, pies, and pastries all day if she were healthy enough. But once her health fell, she was told her body couldn't possibly handle those foods.

Shortly after Charlotte received the news that her mother couldn't eat those kinds of food anymore, she would buy an abundance of different cheeses and pastries. She would take armfuls of sweets home and lay them out on the kitchen table, decoratively. She would sit at the table and eat. She would eat pounds and pounds of sweets snacks and cheese cakes, without even hesitating. She could eat the entire table's contents in about 30 minutes. Realisation would dawn on her afterward, making her regret what she had done. She would over think that the cheeses and treats were things that her ill mother couldn't have and how it was terrible of her to eat them like this when she was probably never going to taste those wonderful desserts again. These thoughts were just enough to send her into an emotional despair. She would rush to the restroom and force her middle finger down her throat, making herself sick. She would bore over the toilet bowl for hours at a time, forcing the entire contents of her stomach out; sometimes she would continue this act until she gagged up noting more then bile and blood.

These episodes had gotten progressively violent the last few weeks after she was informed that her mother was probably not going to survive to see her graduate her 7th grade year. She had stopped attending school and had started hiding herself in the apartment that she and her mother used to share. She had gotten to the point that the only time she would leave the apartment to buy the food that fuelled her fire and visit her mother; even though she was connected to so many machines that she didn't even appear to be the same person. Charlotte's heart would always ache after seeing her mother, even though she was aware that her mother was only still alive because of her daily visits.

Charlotte had swooped to the low that she would order the pastries and cheese over the phone to have them delivered to her home; then she would eat to her hearts content. After that, she purged it all out repeatedly. Sometimes her homeroom teacher would knock at the apartment door, but she would never respond. She just wanted her mother home and healthy. She didn't care for anything or anyone other then her mother.

Charlotte reached for the towel that she had sat on the counter next to the toilet before purging; she then wiped her face with it. Her throat was stinging and she could just tell that she would sound hoarse if she attempted to speak; not like she was planning on talking to anyone right now anyway. She rubbed her face down with the towel before pulling herself up off the floor to wash her hands. After doing that, she flushed the toilet and left the restroom. She let out a hollow sigh, feeling empty yet again. She hadn't yet found a cure for her emptiness other then eating again. But she had no way that she could eat more right then, she had to go to the hospital and say good bye to her mother today.

Charlotte brushed her messy hair and put it up into twin pigtails, wanting to look nice for her mother. She decided that it was the best she could do for her mother since this was probably the last time she was ever going to see her daughter. She checked her cherry blond pigtails in the mirror before deciding that she looked representable for her last visit with her mother.

She took in a sharp, anxious breath and left her apartment, locking the door behind her. She began the long agonising walk to the hospital. She watched her feet move without a thought. She had walked this path so many times that it felt like she could get there with her eyes covered. She glanced up when she noticed the pavement change. She let out a sigh and prepared herself to enter the hospital. She walked through the doors of the structure, her heart skipping a beat; this would be the last time

The first thing Charlotte heard when she walked the hall of the lobby was the voices of the cheerful reception workers. She kept quiet and she pondered how they could muster the energy to be happy in a place like this. She approached the elevator and pressed the up button. When the door opened, she slipped inside the packed elevator. She didn't mind the other people as she pressed the button for the 4th floor. She let herself space out as the elevator began to take her to her destination.

When the door dinged open, someone tapped her shoulder, knocking her out of her thoughts, "Wasn't this your floor?" the kind lady asked. Charlotte looked up at the number counter and nodded, "Thank you." she said, her voice slipping out as hardly more then a murmur. She stepped out onto the floor she needed to be on. The halls were dead silent. This floor bared strain on Charlotte's shoulders that she struggled to hold. She was positive that this place was etched into her memory forever.

She quietly paced through the hall to the door labelled with her mother's name. She stopped in front of the door and took a moment to reorient herself. She took in a gasp of air and slid the door open. The first thing her eyes locked onto was her mother. She was laying in the hospital bed, her hair braided and brushed. She was sleeping peacefully. She stepped into the room, her heart sinking in her chest. She didn't want to wake her mother's peaceful rest, though it was likely that this would be the last time she spoke with her. She readied herself, then softly said, "Momma... I'm here." Just those soft words made her chest twist in sadness. She didn't want this to be good bye; she wanted her mother to keep living.

Charlotte watched her mother's face closely, seeing her slowly opening her eyes. Her mother reached out with her hand to touch her. Charlotte leaned close so her mother could physically touch her without straining herself anymore then she needed to. She nibbled on her bottom lip as she fought the tears that were taunting her eyes; getting upset was something she couldn't help. Everything began to feel like it was crushing her. "Momma, I wish that we could eat that lovely cheesecake together one last time before..." Charlotte murmured, almost inaudibly, "It's been so long."

Her mother traced her fingers across Charlotte's face, carefully stroking away her tears. She begged the gods that she could hold her daughter again and promise her that everything was going to get better; even though she knew that couldn't be. It hurt her more then anything that she knew that Charlotte knew she was dying.

Charlotte intertwined her fingers with her mother's, holding her hand close. At this point in her mother's illness, she wasn't allowed to do much else. Anything else she tried, in physical contact, hurt her mother. She had forgotten how to speak when she saw the look in her mother's eyes that seemed to say goodbye. She just sat there, hugging her mother's hand to her chest, letting the tears rain down her face. She knew nothing was going to fix this.

"Do you really long for that wish to be granted?" a strange voice rang throughout the room.

Charlotte looked up, anger welling up in her chest. She wanted to hurt the voice for interrupting her and her mother. Then her eyes ran across the figure. At first, she wasn't even sure what she had seen. It was this foreign looking white creature. It resembled a cat, but too many features it had were different. It wasn't very big and didn't fit in the atmosphere the room had. Without even considering anything about the odd creature, she spoke to it, "Okay... I just..." she gripped her mother's hand.

The white animal like creature nodded and approached her, just as if a cat would have. It had odd limbs coming from it's ears, that began to glow dully. Charlotte felt like she was dreaming until a bout of pain washed over her chest. It was so painful that she gritted her teeth and screwed her eyes shut, dropping her mother's hand.

After a few moments of her holding that position, the pain subsided and she slowly opened her eyes. The cat-like creature gestured towards a beautiful glowing keychain. Before she was able to fully observe the beautiful gem, the creature announced, "That is a Soul Gem. I recommend you protect it. Now your wish has been fulfilled. Enjoy." the cat-like creature disappeared as inconspicuously as it had appeared.

Charlotte turned her attention back to her mother just to feel confusion linger in her mind. Her mother's ventilator was detached from her and she looked rather better. Charlotte continued observing in confusion; not only was her mother looking better, but there was a large cheesecake on the lunch tray in front of the two of them. She felt the confusion fade and become replaced with joy. She could hardly believe what was right before her eyes. She looked up at her mother and said, "Doesn't this look delicious?" She tried not to let the confusion she still felt lingering ruin whatever was happening before her.

Her mother, who seemed not even slightly perplexed by the situation, nodded and picked up a fork that was laying on a handkerchief in front of her. She grabbed one of the two paper plates that were laying to the of the cheesecake. Her face lit up as she happily too a piece from the cake, scooping a small bite with her fork. She let out a noise of delight and pushed the plate towards Charlotte, telling her to try some as well. Charlotte was having a wonderful time, without even questioning the situation at all.

Time passed quickly as the two joyfully chatted and finished off the cheesecake. For once since she started struggling with food, Charlotte felt completely full; it was a wonderful feeling. She, after the cheesecake was fully depleted, began to clean up the small mess they made. She did this in a meticulous order, picking up with two plates, then carefully placing the silverware on top of them. She then carefully laid the used handkerchiefs over the silverware, then put the plates down on the cake platter. After this, she glanced over to her mother with satisfaction written on her face.

Her mother mentioned being tired, so Charlotte stayed quiet while her mother laid down to rest. Charlotte studied her mother's face and noticed how her mother's face looked peaceful and at rest for once. Even though she still had the heart monitor beeping at her side, she didn't look ill. It was refreshing.

As the clock ticked passed the start of a new hour, Charlotte decided that she should probably go back home. Her mother scolded her for walking out in the dark, so she wanted to abide by her mother's rule even if she had no way to enforce it. Charlotte got up and turned to mother's sleeping face, "I love you." she whispered before her heart skipped a beat.

The heart monitor let out a shrill, long beep.


	2. Chapter 2

Charlotte, in a state of shock, turned to look. She felt tears tease her eyes once more as she looked at her mother. She had no time to properly take in what was going on before an emergency team came rushing through the door, one carrying a portable defibrillator. She backed away, not even attempted to watch their efforts. To her, everything was moving in slow motion. Her mother was dead. The person she cared about the most....Was dead. 

She turned and ran out of the room, her mind a distant fog. She tripped over her feet a few times in an attempt to escape the chaos. In her daze, she ran past the elevator doors and started down the stairs. She stumbled a few times, tears blurring her vision. She knew this day would come, but she would have never expected it to be right after that amazing tea party that they had had. She wouldn't understand. 

"It's because you wished for one last time to eat cheesecake with your mother. That's exactly what I have given you. Did that not properly fill your proposal?" the creature spoke once more. Charlotte frantically looked at her surrounds, but didn't spot that creature even once. She continued running; she felt she needed to be home right now. 

"I completed my side of the bargain, I'd recommend you return the favour." the creature said, seeming to have no concern with the issues that Charlotte just had thrust into her hands. 

She ignored the slightly high pitched, unidentified voice. She ran out of the hospital and didn't stop even for a moment as she followed her normal path home. She wrote off the creature as it kept insisting about witches. The creature felt like an hallucination to her, because it sounded like it's voice was in her head; though the Soul Gem still occupied her pocket. She ignored the details and kept running. 

After what felt like years of running, she found herself in front of her apartment. She got her keys out to unlock the door, but her hands were shaking so much that aiming the key was very trying. After many failed attempts, she finally got the door open. She rushed inside of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She put her back to the door and slid to the floor. Her body felt heavy and she couldn't muster the energy to do anything other then cry. 

Charlotte suddenly got on her hands and knees and crawled to the bathroom, unable to find the energy to even stand again for a moment. She leaned over the toilet bowl and slowly stuck her fingers down her throat. She coughed and shook violently. She stuck her fingers further down in her throat until she gagged. She coughed roughly for a moment before vomiting. The sight of the regurgitation was oddly comforting to her. 

"What is that that you are doing? I've never seen this kind of behaviour before." the creature said. 

Charlotte looked away from her vomit for a moment to find the cat like creature rolling around on her bathroom counter. "Who the hell are you?" She spat, studying his face intently. 

"My name is Kyuubey." the creature, Kyuubey, informed her. It's face was nothing much that one hollow expression. Charlotte almost wondered if it was like that to mock people. 

Charlotte looked away from Kyuubey, not sure if her eyes could take looking at the emotionless face any longer. She pushed her finger down her throat again, vomiting up some of the beautifully filling cheesecake. 

"Why do you keep doing that?" Kyuubey pondered out loud. It had it's head cocked to the side and it was watching her with interest. 

Charlotte didn't look back at him as she answered in a mutter, "This is how I hurt." She wiped her face with a bit of toilet paper before leaning over to rest her head on the cool porcelain of the bathtub. 

Kyuubey watched her, "You are definitely more unique then other girls. Most girls in your situation would have wished to cure the one that they wished for or even wished as big as curing cancer in general." 

Charlotte's eyes went wide and her mind almost shut it's self down. She could have wished for her mother to be cured; instead of that cheesecake that only lasted a moment. She had already wasted nearly half of the cake that they had eaten by now... 'My mother would still be alive if I hadn't been so stupid.' she thought to herself, feeling shattered. She thumbed her pocket for a minute, before pulling out the cold marble of the Soul Gem that Kyuubey had given her. It was a light pink colour, with a small bit of a grey hue that washed over the surface like some dust. She didn't remember the grey hue, but that could have been her lack of observation. She sat the gem on the edge of the tub, parallel to her eyes. She studied the gem as she thought about her mother. 

After a long silence that had been lingering in the bathroom for a while, Kyuubey sliced the silence with his unsympathetic voice, "I would recommend you go and search for a witch. Your Soul Gem is already becoming tainted." 

Charlotte turned her head a little to look at Kyuubey, her face painted with confusion, "What? Search for a witch?" Her expression rather pathetic. Her eyes were ringed with red from crying and she looked very ill. 

"That's right. You agreed to the contract, so you must fight witches. I did my part, now you must do yours." Kyuubey said, once again sounding unaware of her emotion. 

Charlotte really couldn't grasp the concept of the creature at all. Her mother had just died and he was telling her to go fight witches? She was too lethargic to even make it to and from school without feeling the need to pass out. She turned so the curve of the porcelain fit perfectly with the shape of the side of her face. She felt so drained; she almost felt like it was impossible for her to ever get up, even to get to her bed. She readjusted her legs to a more comfortable position then whispered, "I'm not going... Not to fight witches." she looked at the gem that sat in front of her. It looked like it was getting darker then before, but she didn't really care. Her mother wasn't able to see her doing something so surreal. Her mother wasn't there not to believe in this rubbish about witches and magical girls and this space ferret with unreal powers. Her mother was not here and it was her fault for not thinking up a better wish. 

She murmured something under her breath, staring closely at the Soul Gem. Her mind was obviously not all where she was. 

Kyuubey jumped to the back of the toilet before asking her, "What is it that you are trying to figure out?" 

Charlotte let out a sigh, "Rent. I need to get together rent money by next week... And I need food... Ugh, everything is falling apart..." She sat up and leaned over the toilet once more. She barely even opened her mouth before gagging and vomiting some more. At this point, she was so upset that vomiting was easy. 

Charlotte's empty eyes stared in the toilet as she coughed and heaved. She attempted to take a few sharp breaths in before leaning over the toilet for another moment. She coughed violently before spitting up a little bit. She looked at the contents of the toilet and let a frown decorate her face. There was blood topping of the cake she had forced out like the cherry atop a cake. Her chest twisted in disappointment, even though her mind felt a little more at ease for the time being. 

She coughed a few more times, blood now the only thing coming up. She covered her mouth with toilet paper as an attempt to calm her coughing. Her mind was racing; she was incapable of figuring out what was going on. There was too much happening. Not only had her mother passed away, the funds from her once upon a time part time job were finally dwindling on nothing but pocket change. She couldn't get another job in her current state. Maybe she could beg? Right now it didn't matter. Nothing really mattered right then. 

She laid her head back down on the edge of the bath tub as she let more thoughts consume her. "I could've saved her.... I could've saved millions... I could've fixed everything." She kept murmuring these things under her breath as she looked at the Soul Gem. Darker colours were swirling inside of it then there were before, like she cared. She made it very obvious to Kyuubey that she didn't care, so he stopped mentioning it. 

Charlotte beat herself up mentally until she fell asleep from exhaustion, still leaning on the bath tub. She twitched and cried in her sleep, clawing at the side of the porcelain, begging for her mother. 

Kyuubey studied her like a science project as she slept, taking in her emotion like a show. It looked painful and violent. He didn't understand how simply actions and events could cause such a reaction in someone.


	3. Chapter 3

Charlotte woke up after about three hours or so of nothing but nightmares and despair. At first, she hoped that it was all a nightmare; then she noticed the white animal named Kyuubey laying on her bathroom counter. Her chested began throbbing once more when she realised it was all reality. Her stomach hurt hurt as a reminder to her that she needed to clean up the bathroom. Even through despair she felt she must do what she was expected of. 

She sat up and reached for the handle of the toilet. She pulled it down, trying not to watch her vomit as it went down the drain. She felt utterly disgusting; that was the cake that she and her mother had shared. That was the last cake her mother got to eat and she just vomited it up and gotten rid of it as if it was any other cake. 

She hick-upped as she forced herself off of the bathroom tile. She stumbled, the world spinning. She put her hand on the wall and stared at the ground for a moment. "I need to go to the hospital... I'm sure I can't just ignore what happened." she said, her voice coming out low and hoarse. 

Kyuubey sat up and shook his head a small bit before warning her, "Don't forget your Soul Gem. It would be consequential if you did." He jumped off of the counter and over to the tub. He scooped the gem up with his large tail. He climbed up to her shoulder and handed it to her. 

Charlotte looked at the gem. It was very smokey now, with only small bits of bright pink swirling around the orb. She had wondered for a moment what it's dimming like meant but with everything else going on, she decided that she didn't really want to know. She took the gem into her hand and pushed into the depths of her pocket. She let out a deep breath before looking down at her clothes. She decided after a few moments that she didn't care that she was wearing the same thing as yesterday, all the way down to her favourite black scarf with orange poke-a-dots. 

Charlotte blinked back tears that were beginning to form again, even though she didn't have anyone that she needed to be strong for. She took in a deep, painful breath. She needed to get going. She slowly trudged to the front door and slipped her small feet into her brown loafers. She hated that she was having to go back to the death place of her mother, but it was an inevitable fate. If she ignored it, her mother would be cremated and never thought of again; rather then buried with a tombstone that would be therefor more then one-hundred years. She had tried her best to get all of her mother's burial plans finished beforehand, but she was always worried that something would go wrong and she would never see her mother's grave like she had planned. 

Charlotte let out a sigh as she opened the wooden door, which felt heavier then she remembered. Her eyes dropped to the ground as soon as she left the comfort of her house. She felt she didn't deserve to look at the other faces of the world. They were all living, unlike her mother. The hard reality was finally setting it. It hurt worse then yesterday, but she had no means of coping today. She hadn't eaten, so there was no purging. She didn't have the money to handle it anymore. She tried to push the painful thoughts out of her head, though it wasn't working the way she longed for. 

She looked up when she recognised the familiar pavement of the hospital sidewalk. A knot twisted in her chest, causing a small wave of nausea wash over her. This was still too painful to look at. 

She walked into the doors of the hospital and heard the usual voices that greeted her; both ladies at the desk were expressing their upmost regrets. She walked up to the nurse's station and without a hint of emotion in her voice, she asked, "Do you know where I have to go from here?" 

"Hold on, hun." One of the nurses, the blond one, reached over to one of the many grey filling cabinets and opened one of the drawers. She started shuffling through some paperwork, then handed Charlotte a few. "These papers will go to the funeral home or crematorium that you are planning for you mother." She reached into the cabinet again, pulling out a few more forms, "We need you to sign these papers to release her medical records and her body to said funeral home or crematorium." 

Charlotte glanced down at the papers and fought back tears. These papers were like the symbolisation that her mother was definitely dead. She looked at the words on the papers, none of them registering. After she decided that pages were definitely Japanese, she asked the nurses, "May I take these with me? I'll bring them back once I'm done reading through them and filling them out." 

The brunette nurse nodded, then started back to their own business. 

Charlotte scooped the papers off of the counter and started the path for the waiting room. She caught herself midstep, her thoughts causing her to shake her head. She had somewhere that she felt she needed to see one last time. She kept the documents at hand as she approached the elevator. She pressed the up button to call the elevator, it's fondness something that she knew that she wasn't going to miss. When the elevator chimed to make note of it's arrival, there was no one inside. Even though Charlotte felt it would oddly be more comfortable with another person with her, being alone was probably what was best for her right now. 

She pressed her floor number and closed her eyes as the elevator doors shut and started ascending to the floor that once was the home of her mother. She hated how everything has become 'once was'. Now that her mother was dead, everything felt foreign, almost numb. She bit the inside of her cheek when the elevator dinged to make her aware of her surrounds. She opened her eyes and stepped out of the elevator. She turned to her left and walked the white hall. One or two loitering nurses told her that her mother had passed, but she simply ignored their words. She wasn't sure of what she was here for, but she knew that she didn't expect the presence of her mother. 

She walked up to the room that once was her mother's. It's strong smell of disinfectant made the room have a completely different atmosphere. The bed had been made flawlessly. The flowers cleaned away; the side table they rested on cleaned of her mother's books as well. She wondered for a moment what they had done with those books, but her thoughts were swept away by the realisation that this room was very depersonalised. 

Charlotte stepped into the room and held her hands to her chest, ignoring the fact that the papers she was holding were getting wrinkled and battered. She felt a strong twist in her chest that almost felt like the pair from when Kyuubey thing had created her Soul Gem. She felt like that whole part of life was surreal. It hadn't even been a whole day and nothing special had really come from becoming a magical girl. Well, other then getting to have cheesecake with her mother, but then... She let out a sigh, hoping that would take a small bit of the pressure off of her chest. 

Charlotte reached into her pocket and pulled out the Soul Gem. It was tainted dark purple now. It didn't even have the spindle of pink like it had had in the bathroom, just before her leaving. She didn't feel the urgency of it and jammed it back into her pocket. Her chest twisted in pain again and she let out a small gasp.The wasn't like any other pain she had experienced; but she had a lot of things happening right now. She wrote it off yet again. 

Charlotte looked at the papers and skimmed through the lines, none of the words really sticking in her mind. She reached into her pocket and took out a pen. She didn't quite recall how she obtained the pen but at least it was there. She filled in the date and her name where they asked, answering whatever questions they had to ask. She did this all with a robotic hand, none of it even feeling real. She felt like this was a dream that she would eventually wake from. After filling out the forms the way they desired, she let out a sigh. She took another good look at the room before reluctantly leaving. 

She rode the elevator back down to the lobby; where she took the papers straight back to the nurses at the front desk. "Here I finished filling them out. I hope I did everything properly." she stated, her voice more hollow sounding to herself then it was before. She also felt a wave of fatigue that just danced around her as she started to leave the building. She got about 30 feet from the front door, right at the foyer where bikes are kept before needing to sit down. Exhaustion took over her, so much so that even getting on the ground to rest seemed like too much. Somewhere along the way, that ferret-like creature, Kyuubey, had disappeared. She had no idea when exactly that happened, she had been too busy walking those halls and seeing her mother's room one last time. 

 

She leaned against the wall after getting off of her feet and just let out another sigh. Her chest was aching so painfully and breathing felt hard. She was right here by the hospital but when she tried to yell it came out as nothing more then a small squeak and there was no way she was going to get up. Maybe she was dying too. She used all of her left over strength to pull out her soul gem and set it down next to her. She watched the dark purple colours swirl around inside the soul gem. It looked so sad, Charlotte felt like crying for it. Her chest began throbbing, the pain almost feeling like a spear or a bullet running through the centre of her chest. She let out a yell that came as nothing more then a small "Ah!" noise. She gripped her chest tightly and curled up into a ball. 

As she squirmed in agony, all she could think of was how she was going to go to heaven and have sweets and, if she is lucky, cheese with her mother again. Her mother's favourite food ever was cheese. Even though she bought pastries and candies, she adored cheese. Cheese was something her mother bought the way normal people would buy cakes. She treated cheese like the speciality item that they were only allowed to have for a celebration. Charlotte had forgotten that. 

The last straw for Charlotte was remembering her mother's simple, but strong love for cheese. Even if she ever ate cheese again, it was never going to be the same without her mother by her side. Her heart twisted in sheer agony and she clawed at the ground, causing the tips of her fingers to become skinned and bloody. She curled up and screamed as much as she could. She had no idea what was happening to her. She caught a glance at her soul gem while she was curling up and noticed the cracks that were appearing, leaking what seemed to be purple smoke or something like that. Charlotte could only catch a glance before she was rendered immobile. She felt a sudden release of the pain. Her chest stopped aching and the agony suddenly stopped. She still felt all the sadness and despair of loosing her mother, but all of that physical agony was gone. But, the feeling of being immobile was still lingering. 

The stress of all that she had just gone through took over her, her consciousness fading. As she fell into a deep sleep, she feared that she was dying. Even though she also felt like dying would make her able to see her mother once again, she still feared the thought of dying. Before she could argue her point for wanting to stay alive, a last wave of exhaustion washed over her and she was simply unable to continue being conscious...


	4. Chapter 4

Charlotte woke slowly, heaviness still making it's way into her. She still felt the inability to move, but it didn't really matter to her. At the moment, the only thing that matter to her was making sure of her location. The last thing that she remember was sitting by the bicycle parking at the side of the hospital. 

She glanced up and felt shocked. She was no longer sitting by the hospital. There was interesting walls and things all around. She spotted quite a few different cakes and pastries. But along with the seemingly peaceful land of sweets were syringes, scalpels, pills, pill bottles, IVs, and many other medical things. She couldn't understand this world she had been thrust into. She continued studying what was in front of her and was suddenly startled by this little rat-like thing that appeared near her. It made very rat-like noises, but it was dressed like a nurse. When Charlotte saw this, she couldn't believe her eyes. She attempted to get up and run. She had no idea if those things wanted to eat her or not. 

She was fear stricken when she realised she was paralysed. She tried to let out cries of fear only for her voice to not come out. She wanted to scream and run and those were the two abilities taken from her. She tried everything to move and nothing worked. 

The rat-like thing stepped closer to her and sniffed her. After a moment, it nuzzled it's face on her's. She felt fear dance around in her chest the whole time, only to realise that it seemed to like her. She began to think to herself where she was. She must be in a dream world. Maybe that pain made her pass out and now she was in a dream world due to pain medications. She watched the rat-like creature as she though this. It seemed to hear her thoughts because it nuzzled against her face again before letting out another squeak noise. She directed a thought at it, asking if it liked her. It looked at her for a long moment before nibbling playfully on her hair. 

Charlotte felt a little weird that none of her thoughts were private there, but it's not like she thought of anything that was truly bothersome. She watched the rat-like animal if it had siblings or if it was the only one. It nodded vigorously and made cute, happy noises. She wasn't exactly sure what to think of all of this that was going on. After a moment or two, she asked the rat-like thing if it could walk her around a bit, show her where she might be. 

The cute rat-like thing nodded, before walking behind her. it nuzzled it's face underneath her, which made her feel very awkward. She felt odd that she couldn't move for herself and was having this rat-like thing tote her round. but it was only natural to find a means of transportation if there was not other way. 

It carried her up this way and that, showing her many different places, all which had one thing in common; there were snacks and treats of all kinds everywhere. Some places had more medical things throughout the rooms, while other places had cakes stacked to the ceiling. Though there were many wonderful snacks and treats everywhere, she saw none of the one thing she wanted the most. She wanted cheese. She wanted to taste her mother's favourite snack once again. 

She felt pain tear through he chest again when she thought about cheese. It was stupid to get upset of something like that, but when it was the one thing that she had forgotten, it was hard for her. She thought to the rat-like thing to stop and let her down. She didn't want to say anymore. It hurt her too much. 

It let her down and she asked it to please leave her be, which it did. She wept to herself for a while, feeling terrible for herself. She didn't know where she was or what she was even doing there. Her confusion didn't cover the pain she felt from her mother's love for cheese. She was hurting everywhere, agony taking it's toll. 

Charlotte eventually decided that she would try to learn to move if only a little bit. She thought to her self about how it felt to move before. It made her head hurt to focus so closely on her physical being, but she didn't want to rely on those cute rat-like things forever. After a long time, she figured out how move her arms. It took a lot of effort, that almost totally burned her out. She continued trying though. 

After a very long time, she gave up on moving from the spot she was in. She had figured out basic movements. She had almost immediately learned from this that she was no human. She didn't know what she was, but she wasn't human. She couldn't help herself but get emotional from this as well. She wondered if she could even eat. She didn't understand what was going on. 

She called for one of those rat-like things and waited quietly, not wanting to seem impatient. When it showed up, she asked it to take her to a table. She had seen one during their touring. She wanted to be there, where she could try to eat. She needed to cope and she couldn't if she couldn't eat. 

The rat thing wondered the maze like an expert and then stopped at a ledge. It looked down as if to warn her of the land below. She nodded, preparing herself for the fall. She had no idea if it would hurt or feel weird or what. 

She hit the ground and let out a squeak, which was a step up from the seemingly normal, where she couldn't possibly even make a sound. She landed in a sitting position on a chair, in front of a table. It was a rather small, rounded table that had another chair on the opposite side of her. In that chair was another one of those rat things. It was watching her before pushing a plate toward her that had a piece of cake on it. 

She stared at the cake. She felt like eating was going to be a lot harder then she anticipated. Though, she could move enough to take hold of the fork. It was at an awkward angle and she had to grip with all her energy to prevent if from falling from her cloth-covered hand and fall down many feet to the ground below, that was a very long way down. She opened her tiny mouth and took small bites of the cake in front of her. It was well made and wasn't overly sweet. 

She loved the cake but it made her feel worse about her mother. Even if she did get to have cheesecake... She wouldn't get any other sweets and treats. Charlotte let out a whimper and put the fork down halfway through a bite. She felt nauseous again. She hung her head and looked at the height beneath her. She wasn't sure if she was scared or if the nausea was just getting worse. She took in a sharp breath, trying to ignore her small stomach. After a moment or two, she gagged a little. She tried to prevent herself from vomiting but just the action of thinking about it was enough to use up all of her energy. After a few moments of sitting there, feeling green faced, Charlotte gave in. She leaned over the chair and felt something come up. She closed her eyes and dreaded the thought of seeing her regurgitation from this height.. 

Suddenly, this literal free feeling washed over her. She didn't understand and she opened her eyes. What was happening? She felt like she could move again with no boundaries. Though, now she felt very snake like. It was foreign. Even more foreign then that other feeling of being that small being. She wanted a mirror to view her form. She knew she wasn't in any kind of body that was even resigning to a human though. This form felt freeing. She felt like doing nothing by moving around. She also had the appetite of a starving dog. She wanted to eat every cake in sight. 

Charlotte squirmed around a bit more, just moving freely. It felt so refreshing. She wasn't sure if she just felt confined by the body or if she felt abnormally free in this form. She really could not place it. 

 

Soon though, she couldn't stop herself from eating a few cakes whole. She was bigger now too. She felt like nothing could fill her up. She just needed to eat and eat and eat. After eating about 10 difference cakes, she decided what she really wanted. She wanted cheese. She looked around and thought about that cheesecake that she and her mother had shared. Before her appeared a few cakes while she thought about that cheesecake, but none of them were the one that she longed for. After a long while, she let out a frustrated yell and tried again to create the cheesecake. This time a small plate of cupcakes appeared in front of her. It wasn't what she wanted! When she thought of other cakes, they appeared; why wouldn't cheesecake?! 

Charlotte got mad and started squirming around, distorting the cakes around her that she had created. She ran her face into the wall a few times, breaking the cookie that made up that wall. She wanted that cheesecake. She let out cries of sadness and she retreated back to that small form she started out as. This only upset her more, but now that she was back in this small form, back in that tall chair, she had no energy to do anything besides weep. 

So this was the world that she was destined to live in? Was this punishment for making that wish? That's what it seemed like... She let out a quiet sigh and felt tears run down her face but did nothing to change it... Just like always. She was not useful for anything other then weeping. The one person she was protecting died, then her own life was wasted and she was thrown here. She didn't understand what she had done to anger the gods. But whatever she had done must have been bad or she wouldn't be here, crying herself a river. 

Charlotte eventually calmed down and accepted this place as her fate. If this world was her life now, she should at least enjoy it a small bit. She would eat in her small form and then vomit, which triggered her other self. She didn't understand quite how that worked out but it did somehow. She would eat and create lots of sweets for herself, day after day. She lived like this, constantly. To her, it felt like time didn't apply; that is, until someone came into her illusion. 

One day, she had been snacking with one of the rat-things, which at one point she named Pyotr. During this relatively normal day, the air suddenly changed and she felt her comfort zone suddenly penetrated. She panicked at first, but then decided she would welcome the person as a guest, since whoever was kind enough to come visit her. 

She sat at the cliff that dropped to her favourite chair. She wanted to invite the guest to a nice picnic, though she still hasn't quite figured out how to talk correctly. It all came out as a slur. She shook her head. She wouldn't try to talk. That wouldn't work out. She just kept an eye on the area where her tea table was. 

After a while and her anticipation growing, she saw a girl with blonde twin drills jump from one of the other dead end bridges. Charlotte could just feel that there were others, but she couldn't say anything other then that. She jumped from her spot, at the same time that one of the Pyotr dropped a sign that she had made while snacking out. She landed in her chair and without any notice, she felt her chair shake. She wasn't quick on the draw in this form, so she wasn't able to catch herself before falling off the now broken chair. She suddenly felt betrayed. She though they were here to visit her. She didn't know that that were going to destroy her peaceful enough land. 

She didn't even have time to land before the butt of a gun hit her in the stomach. She went flying and hit the far wall. The girl with twin drills flipped the gun and shot at her many times, hitting her quite a few times. After Charlotte fell from the wall she was originally pinned against, the girl walked up to her and put a gun to her and shot. Charlotte questioned if she would live through this. 

The blonde strung her up on many thin yellow threads, tightly holding her into place; as if she could move anyway. Then she summoned a huge gun and shot one large round at her. Sudden realisation hit Charlotte. Was this what Kyuubey had been talking about? If it were..... She was the witch in this situation... She was the bad guy. She wrapped her scarf tightly around herself, squeezing her sore body. She felt herself getting nauseous. She squeezed tighter until she couldn't help but vomit. She puked her other form out. For one moment, she didn't have an idea what her move would be. But she had sudden anger toward this blonde she had never met before. This girl had no right to attack her like that. Charlotte went straight for her, mouth right open. She hadn't anything other then sweets for a long time, it seemed. She wondered for a moment if this girl would taste like cheese. This made her eager to take a bite from her. She chomped down on the girl and felt her small neck give way to her large teeth. It was a small bit disturbing to her that she was eating a person but this girl had tried to kill her. She didn't want to fight back; she had wanted to be friends. 

Charlotte dove down after eating the rest of her head. she finished off the rest of her body and almost felt satisfied. Even with that feeling, eating a human was not okay and she knew that. She regretted it immediately, but wasn't given a moment before another girl appeared in front of her; this time with long black hair and a more serious stature. 

Charlotte felt a ping of guilt as she chased after this girl. She would bite into a table that protruded from the cream covered ground. Every time the girl would just reappear in front of her, on the next table. It was very disorienting; Charlotte's mind got lost try to follow where she would be next. But every time, despite her confusion, she would still bite into the next table. After a moment, she felt discomfort, then pain in her mouth. She opened her mouth for a moment and looked around, the girl once again in no sight. In a few confusing milliseconds, there were bombs all around her. She looked around, panic overwhelming her. Every time a bomb hit her, she forced herself to move forward. She didn't even notice that she was created herself over and over again. Though, eventually she saw the end in front of her. So this was how it was all going to end? Being destroyed by the very being she used to be. She didn't see an evasion and simply said her goodbyes. She looked down at her sweets one last time before the explosion went of in her face. She collapsed onto the ground and suddenly had no energy level. She felt herself fading. She begged the gods to take better care of her next life. She quieted her mind and went to bed one last time.


End file.
